Desperate Situations Pt2
by aurora-sakura
Summary: Sequel. JamesLily. 7th year, and things begin to change. Not just because of James' and Lily's new found relationship... Some Angsty situations.
1. Destiny

Here we go, the much asked for Sequel to Desperate Situations!

**Chapter 1 **

By the second day of their 7th year, the whole school knew that James and Lily were now an item and Lily found herself the object of several girls dislike in an instant. Though James seemed not to notice.

However, Sirius' popularity with the ladies hit an all time high at the lose of their James Potter and he didn't even seem to care that James wasn't joining him in his usual activities and instead spending time with Lily. So as a replacement for James, poor Remus was dragged around by the tall boy and forced to sit with groups of giggling girls constantly. Though this switch was getting Remus some girl attention of his own which he blatantly ignored, pretending to be blissfully unawares at the attempts to flirt with him and he was constantly teased about this by Sirius.

The bad attention she was suddenly getting by the girls of the school didn't put her down much however after one particularly good "study session" with James in the common room in which they shared their second wonderful kiss.

She had begun to learn why all the girls wanted James to themselves.

Besides being handsome, and good at Quidditch and school, he was most certainly a good kisser... not that Lily had much previous experience. But every time he moved a bit closer to her, wrapped his arms around her and placed his lips carefully to hers she felt like she would melt on the spot and everyone would find her a great puddle of mush the next morning in the commons.

What's worse... if that can even be considered a bad thing... James seemed entirely aware of her reactions to him. She could tell by his smiles whenever they pulled apart leaving her dazed and flustered. That cocky smile he usually reserved for class time, the one she used to hate but now found incredibly sexy.

Sometimes she found herself wondering why she didn't like him sooner... before she remembered how persistent and annoying he had been all those years.

No... it was only now that she'd seen the true James. The grown up James that she found herself steadily falling for. The thought both thrilled and scared at the same time. She not knowing what loves is when he seemed to know exactly what it should be.

Love. Something she wished they taught in school but was sure it would loose its sentiment if it were.

She could call it love when her heart sped up at the very site of James... which it'd been doing ever so often. Or when she was worried about him in Quidditch practices- though she'd never been worried before and probably had no real reason to be so.

But it didn't matter. She had time. James hadn't said "I love you" yet so she wasn't expected to say anything.

There was one heart stopping incident one night over homework though.

James had been helping Lily with their first Transfiguration assignment of the year- something, she hated to admit, she wasn't all that great in...

"See Lily, it's really simple actually." He slid a piece of parchment across the low table in the commons that they were hunched over. A few quick notes that she could use to write the paragraph she had been attempting when she asked for help. She resisted the urge to tell him it may be simple for him, but not for others but kept silent knowing he would probably retort with a 'You get the highest marks in all your other classes.'

"Thank you, James." She smiled at him instead and began to start writing again, but looked up when she heard him slide over, closer to her.

She stayed still for a moment, watching him, part of her hoping he would instigate a "break" from their homework. But he just hung his head back over his parchment and started to scribble away again.

After a few more moments of watching him she returned to hers as well.

"Lily..."

She looked up, placing the quill into her ink thinking he wanted to start a conversation with her.

He looked up from his parchment, his hazel eyes showing frustration. Was he stuck on his homework now?

"What?" She reached out a hand to take his essay but he pulled it away, shaking his head, a small smile coming to his face now.

"No, I don't need help... it's not that."

She felt her heart speed up as usual. The tone in his voice made it happen. There was something there...

"What is it than?"

He just continued to stare at her, the light from the fire dancing across his face, reflecting on his glasses, in his jet black hair... Merlin he was handsome...

She felt her face heat up. She was sometimes embarrassed that he still had that effect on her even though they were dating.

He opened his mouth to speak again but Sirius took just that moment to burst into the common room- yes, that's right, _burst. _Something she didn't think possible through the portrait hole until the great Black had pulled it off. He stopped halfway into the room, took one look at the two of them sitting there alone and broke into a huge grin.

"Sorry you two... didn't realize you had a date."

Lily felt slightly offended. Did he think her idea of a date was studying? She may have given that impression once or twice yes... but... "We're not on a date, Black, we're doing homework." She still used his last name when she was annoyed with him. 'Sirius' when she thought he deserved it.

She turned to look at James and found, to her amusement, he had gone a bright red similar to the color of her hair.

"Sure, call it what you like Evans." He shrugged, tipped his head slightly to his best friend than trudged up towards the boys dorms.

Remus entered shortly after him, looking slightly frazzled and worn. At James' and Lily's inquiring look he muttered a quick "Rona Myles." Before following after Sirius to the dorm room.

Rona Myles was a 6th year Ravenclaw who, among several other girls, took to Remus when he "replaced" James in the girl world. Remus wasn't enjoying her company but she seemed to want his 24/7.

When he was gone she turned to James expectantly, hoping he would continue where he left off, no matter how frustrated the conversation would eventually make her. But to her slight disappointment he had returned to his homework looking a little put out.

He didn't speak much for the rest of the night except to say "sweet dreams" followed by a long, slow kiss that made her feel weak in the knees before she floated up to her own dorm room.

She fell asleep thinking about Destiny and the words he had spoken to her before their first kiss during the last week of summer holidays, and for the first time she found herself thinking that maybe Divination wasn't worthless after all.

James thought this was Destiny.

She wanted to believe it.

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AN: It's back! lolz!

I hope you liked the first chapter of Part 2

I'll get into more story line stuff next chapter. This one will be a bit darker... more depressing. But it will still have lots of James/Lily stuff, not to worry!

Review Please!


	2. It'll be Fun

AN: So... this chapter isn't exactly the plot developing thing I was hoping for. But it's coming, this is just building up to it sort of... I don't really know. lol! But I know where the stories going, I'm just not sure how to get there...

**Chapter 2**

"You're kidding me..." Lily stared at Sirius who was grinning back at her like the Cheshire cat. She wanted to hurt him.

He shook his head. "No, Evans." He moved forward to pat her shoulder but she quickly stepped away, glaring furiously at him.

"Why did you do it?" Her voice was dangerously low and he seemed to realize she was getting angry because his smile began to slowly disappear.

"I thought you'd be best for it... you like to organize things." His voice was taking on a defiant tone, and she knew there would be no point arguing further.

Instead, she fell back onto the couch in the commons looking up at him with exasperation.

"I have homework to worry about!" She felt like crying with the frustration of it all, but she knew it would be pointless. Professor Slughorn had already approached her about it and she had lied and acted like she knew what was happening. She didn't want to feel like an even bigger fool...

"It'll be fun." He added, his voice coaxing, wanting her not to be mad at him. Why? She didn't know. She was often mad at him anyway.

Without his meddling.

"Black..."

"You'll like it."

"No-"

"You will, trust me."

"I should make you do it."

"But you won't because you know I would destroy it somehow."

He grinned and she crossed her arms defiantly over her less than ample chest. "You have a point there."

"Exactly." He looked proud of himself. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"You would be the best one for it, Lily." Both Sirius and her turned to look at Remus who was seated in the chair closest to the fire. He looked more worn than ever with the full moon approaching. "I can help if you want."

She sighed and shook her head. "No... you have enough to be getting on with."

"James will help you." Sirius added quickly.

She was quiet a moment, catering to the idea of her and James spending even more hours alone together.

She shrugged, even though she was suddenly ecstatic on the inside. "I suppose so."

Remus returned to his book, the subject settled, well Sirius, still looking quite proud of himself took up the other armchair, placing his feet up on the table.

"Just make sure the rules are guy ask girl."

She sighed and nodded, slumping further into the comfy confounds of the chesterfield. Wonderful... just wonderful...

It seemed the only thing that would keep her going with this is if James did decide to help her.

If he didn't, she most certainly would refuse to be his date for it... and of course she would be angry if he went with anyone else.

He most definitely was going to be helping her plan the Halloween dance, whether he wanted to or not.

"I think I'll ask Anna to come with me." Sirius spoke up suddenly. "That 6th year... or maybe Jemima from Ravenclaw..."

From Lily's angle, she could see Remus roll his eyes from behind his book.

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Over the next week or so people began to constantly drop suggestions to Lily about "how the ball should be run". What would go on, what would the decorations be like... it seemed everyone wished they were in her position but none really wanted to sign up on the form outside Slughorn's office.

James did agree to help her, which made her quite happy. He actually seemed excited about it, something that surprised her. So much in fact that after he told her so she went and asked Remus if they were planning something "marauder style" that night that she should be aware of.

He had laughed and told her it would be too expected, so... no.

Still no one signed the form and the suggestions kept pouring in. People kept getting into trouble during class from all the notes pilling up onto her desk, and on one occasion _she_ got told off by a professor for snapping at a blond girl from Hufflepuff when they passed her a suggestion to make the ball a costume event- something she had thought of already.

"Don't worry so much about it Lily." James had told her after that class, a look of both worry and amusement on his face.

She shook her head. "I'm not worried, just annoyed."

He laughed and took her hand than, gently leading her away from the classroom and fellow students.

Even if they were in a crowd at that moment, all she would see was him and that smile...

He led her all the way down to the lake, allowing her to settle down next to him under the tree the Marauders tended to call their own, wrapping his arms around her without speaking.

The grass was cold, but she snuggled into his warmth, resting her head on his shoulder, her face pressed into his neck. He smelled wonderful...

He didn't speak, and she was fine with it.

... And just as he planned, she felt her stress and annoyance drift easily away.

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AN: short... I know. And this isn't exactly the plot revealing chapter I wanted to write. The dance or ball isn't really a big part of the story, I just wanted to add it in there. -shrugs-

Next chapter, I promise will be more plot revealing! I swear!

Like I said, it will be bit more angsty, but it will still have a happy ending! I promise!

lol, lots of promises...

**Reviews please!**


	3. Wonderland

**Chapter 3 **

"This costume's I bit much, don't you think?" James adjusted his top hat, fit with muggle card in front of the mirror, staring at his reflection incredulously. "What was I thinking letting Lily choose my costume..." He turned slightly, eyeing his black coat tails and slacks. "What am I again?"

"Your the Mad Hatter." Remus spoke up from his bed where he was fitting a pair of bunny ears over his sandy hair. "From Alice in Wonderland."

"Mad muggles are, really." James turned from the mirror to his friend who looked suddenly very irritated, adjusting his floppy ears. "You look adorable Moony."

The werewolf scowled and bit back, "At least people can see what I am. Yours is natural." He eyed the bespectacled young man for a moment before shaking his head. "The top hat is the only thing that shows who you are anyway. It's not 'too much' as you say."

"People won't know your from the muggle story either, Moony." Sirius, dressed in purple stripped dress robes, stepped up behind Remus and flicked the realistic bunny ears Lily had ordered for him from a costume shop in Diagon Alley. "You do look quite cute though."

Remus took a few quick steps away from Sirius and across the room, standing by the door for a possible quick get away well Peter suddenly stumbled in from the boy's bathroom.

Sirius' bark-like laughter filled the room. "What the bloody hell are you?"

"A rat." Peter's voice was small as he nervously adjusted the hand sewn mouse ears on his head. They looked as if they'd seen better days. He only wore his usual dress robes besides.

His watery blue eyes took in the others and he frowned, a small blush creeping across his plump features. "I thought we were dressing up as our animagus forms?"

Sirius sighed, fixing the smaller boy with a look of annoyance. "We changed our minds last week remember? When Lily showed us that book." He reached a hand up to touch the purple catlike ears on his head. "Though, I would have much rather liked to go as a dog. I'm not a big fan of cats..."

"Besides..." James took one last look at himself in the mirror, satisfied- he wanted to impress Lily- before he turned to look at his friends. "What would Remus dress up as? We couldn't have him dressing up as a werewolf now could we?"

Peter's eyes grew large and he passed a slightly nervous look in Remus' direction before nodding furiously. "Yeah."

Remus looked absolutely bored, motioning them all to the door with a piercing look that clearly stated they should leave now, but muttered as Peter came up, "There is a mouse in the book" for only him to hear. Peter smiled.

"Let the fun begin." Sirius chided cheerfully as he swept from the room followed by the others, Peter shuffling his feet in the rear.

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Lily was pacing, a bad habit she thought she'd done away with.

The boys had yet to come down from the dorms, and the commons was slowly emptying around her. She had to be there for the ball! She had to make sure everything was going fine.

The band had agreed to come. The decorations were perfect. Slughorn was satisfied, telling her he couldn't have done a better job, and James and the others were still not ready!

Just as she was pacing across the stairway to the boy's dorms for what must have been the 20th time, Sirius, dressed most appropriately in the Cheshire Cat outfit she suggested came bounding down the stairs, took one look at her... and stopped. This of course, seemed to cause some back up on the stairway as James slammed in his back, his top hat falling to the floor and Remus looked around both taller boys to see what the hold up was.

She was barely able to see Peter behind them... not dressed in the card outfit she had suggested to him she noticed and looking slightly embarrassed.

"Evans!" Sirius let out a low whistle and Lily began to glow a red to fit her hair when she realized why he had stopped. "You look... erm..." He shot a look to James who was staring at his girlfriend too much to realize Sirius had been about to say something charming to her. "Very nice." He finished lamely, continuing to move down the stairs as if nothing happened.

James followed numbly after him, followed by a smiling Remus- who picked up James' hat and put it back on his head for him- and edgy Peter.

"I like your costume Lily." Remus eyed her red and white dress appreciatively (but not in the perverted way Sirius and James did and were). "The Queen of Hearts?"

She nodded, feeling the tips of her ears burn. She seemed unable to take her eyes off James.

He looked so handsome...

"I thought originally I would dress up as Alice, but Alice is blonde, so this was my second choice." She grabbed hold of the side of her dress and fanned it out slightly. She felt like a princess.

Her mother had gotten her the Victorian-looking dress from a muggle secondhand shop and had added a few of her own touches to it, including the little red hearts sewn into the hems and tiny red ribbons at the sleeves.

James still didn't seem able to speak... until Sirius gave him a sharp nudge in the ribs and said rather loudly, "Take her arm and let's be off, Prongs."

He moved forward now, holding his arm out for her invitation. Smiling shyly, she ignored his arm and took his hand instead, linking fingers with him. He looked surprised at first; pleasantly so, before pulling her along after the already retreating Marauders.

He walked slowly with her... something that slightly irritated her as she thought of the party she was suppose to be hosting downstairs, but at the same time excited her as she watched the distance between them and the Marauder's grow. Soon, as Remus rounded a corner and his rabbit tail disappeared, they found they were alone.

"You look beautiful." James seemed to have gotten over the shock of her dress finally and returned to his normal confident self.

She turned to find him smiling down at her, his handsome hazel eyes dancing from the light of the torches on the wall. "Thank you." She eyed his top hat, trade mark of the Mad Hatter and handsome old muggle outfit. "You look quite handsome yourself."

His grip on her hand tightened affectionately, and she found herself hoping he would want to bypass the dance completely and find a nice broom closet...

No... no... she had a dance to organize.

Besides, she was sure Filtch would be looking through all the closets tonight anyway on the search of hormonal students who had the same thought. Lily could hardly be one of them.

"Erm..." She found he was still looking down at her. "Did you want to head on than?" She motioned with her head in the general direction of the Great Hall and he blinked as if coming out of a trance.

"Right."

He began to pull her towards the hall with a new sort of resolve.

When she looked up to his face as they were heading down the stairway she noticed a faint blush playing across his features, nearly hidden by the shadow the hat cast.

She found herself wondering what it would be like to be in love...

... And wondered if she wasn't already.

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"And what do you suppose she's up to?"

Remus and James both turned in the direction Sirius' attention seemed to be in, half expecting to see Ellen; Sirius' date for the night dancing with someone else. Instead they found themselves watching Narcissa Black slip out of the hall followed by several other Slytherins.

Remus shrugged and turned back to look at the dance floor, seemingly interested in watching a first year stumble around with a girl.

James however stood from his spot to get a better look at the door. "Probably off to pluck her back hair." He mumbled, earning a laugh from Sirius which was quickly followed by Peter's giggle. James and Sirius ignored him... and it seemed all of the girls had to.

Peter had been sitting at the table feeling sorry for himself all night.

"Should we follow my dear cousin?" Sirius was grinning wolfishly... until he spotted Regulus making his way through the doorway as well. "Come on." He grabbed James' sleeve and began to pull him along towards the door.

"Wait a second." James scanned the room quickly, trying to get a glimpse of red among the costume clad students, pumpkins and live bats that circled the room. "I need to tell Lily I'm leaving."

"She won't like that." Remus was watching them now, a disapproving look on his face.

James frowned. "She won't care if she doesn't know."

Remus' frown got steadily deeper and he looked a bit older than he should. "How do you suppose that'll work?"

"You're going to distract her. It'll only take a second."

The werewolf crossed his arms defiantly but Sirius was already pulling James away towards the door again.

As soon as the crowd swallowed the two of them with Peter trailing along behind, Lily's voice from behind made him jump.

He spun around to find her standing there, a glass of punch in one hand well she held the bottom of her dress off the ground with the other. "Where's James?"

He tried to smile, knew it looked forced. "The toilets." He almost winced at the stupid excuse and wanted to take it back instantly when Lily's eyes scanned the table behind him and the dance floor.

"With Black and Peter?" As her eyes landed on him again, he knew he was in trouble if he didn't distract her quickly.

"Would you like to dance."

She opened her mouth to retort something but he was already taking her cup from her hand, placing it on the table before guiding her back onto the dance floor.

"Remus-"

"I'm not much of a dancer."

But as he led her to the medium paced music the live band was strumming out she realized that wasn't true

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AN: Ok... the plots starting. lol!

Not much of it in this chapter... but meh. More suspense-full. You'll have to wait and see.

REVIEW!


	4. Defeat & Humiliation

Chapter 4

When James, Sirius and Peter caught up with the Slytherins they found themselves outside in the courtyard. In the dark outfits Narcissa and Regulus were wearing, they were swallowed up in the darkness along with their conversation. They all sat, hunched around a low wall, whispering in hushed voices with quick glances towards the front doors.

The music still managed to flood the night air.

The three marauders managed to duck out the front doors unseen by the Blacks and hid in the shadows of the front steps. From their angle, they could just make out Regulus' pale face pinched in what looked like frustration.

"What is that nasty git up to?" Sirius voice sounded viscous in James' ears and he turned to look at his friend in worry. He didn't like the tone in Sirius' voice. Nor the look of anger on his face.

Lily wouldn't speak to him if he did something to wreck her well planned night.

"Sirius-"

He was cut off when Sirius shoved a hand to his mouth, shushing him with a motion of his hand.

Narcissa was looking straight at them.

For one heart pounding moment, they felt relief when she turned away from them, but it was quickly replaced with cold realization as Regulus turned quickly in their direction, removing his wand.

Sirius already had his out and was stepping out of the shadows. James followed quickly, fumbling for his wand which was sticking out of his pocket.

Peter was mumbling something to himself and stayed where he was.

"Sirius." Regulus' quiet voice was barely heard over the laughter and music coming from the hall, but they could see his eyes; angry and sharp, shift over his brother than onto James.

"Dear cousin." Narcissa moved around her younger cousin to face Sirius now, a grin on her own pale features. "Trying to spy?"

Sirius laughed, though it sounded slightly different than usual. James felt his grip on his wand tighten. "Are you doing anything that shouldn't be spied on Narcissa?"

She laughed too, shrill and mad. "We were just discussing your friends actually..." Her gaze drifted over to James now. "Weren't we Severus?"

Both James and Sirius turned to look quickly at the taller boy standing next to Regulus. He was dressed in a hooded outfit and hadn't recognized him before.

Sirius tensed, and James knew why.

Severus looked almost like a Death Eater.

"And what, exactly, were you discussing?" Sirius' voice was low and dangerous now, his eyes staying on Snape who seemed to shift uncomfortably under his gaze.

"How your James here is dating a filthy mudblood."

James' reaction was fast. His wand was up, pointing at Narcissa before she could blink. His gaze was fierce. Daring her to try and say something more.

But she did.

"What you don't like that? Don't think she's a mudblood? Filthy blood traitor..."

This time, at the mention of Lily being a mudblood, James noticed Severus' involuntary twitch.

He ignored it.

"Shut your mouth Black."

Sirius had his wand raised and was standing next to James. They heard Peter shuffling behind them, whimpering.

"You can't do anythi-"

"Watch me!" James hollered

The scene suddenly turned chaotic.

James, normally good at dueling only managed to stupify one of the unknown Slytherins as they moved forward to protect Narcissa, before he was suddenly hit with a well placed curse by Severus.

He fell to the side with the force of the attack, knowing full well he was bleeding by the throbbing pain across his cheek and the growing warmth that seeped across this face and down his neck. His top hat rolled away as his head made contact with the cobblestones.

Everything went out of focus.

Narcissa yelled in fury and Regulus' voice mixed in the with hers as they moved back from the enraged Sirius who, when James looked up, was clutching his wand arm. His wand was somewhere on the ground behind him.

Then Narcissa was standing right above James, that mad grin on her pinched face. "Blood traitors have to be done away with." Her voice quiet and deadly.

Then she was gone along with the rest of the Slytherins.

Sirius let out a string of curses and moved into James' line of view again. He didn't say anything, but James was suddenly being helped to his feet by both him and Peter.

They were all silent for what seemed like forever until Sirius muttered, "I hate them."

"I'm sure they think the same thing about us." James told him bitterly, touching a hand gently to his cheek. "What the hell did he do to me?"

"You've got a cut on your cheek." Peter's voice was just a squeak from his side.

"And where were you during that anyway!" Sirius rounded on the smaller boy suddenly but James held him back, quickly grabbing his arm. "Cowering here in the corner well we-" He cut himself off, running a hand through his hair causing the cat ears he still had on to become more lopsided. He turned away from both of them.

"Let's find Remus." James told him quietly, pressing his sleeve to his bleeding cheek and glaring towards the castle. The doors the Slytherins retreated to. "There isn't anything we can do now."

They fell silent again, listening to the noises from the castle, as if dreading entering it once more. To face the humiliation...

Lily would know when she saw him.

He didn't want to disappoint her.

"Peter." James spoke to him, knowing he was there, nervously by his side. "Go get Remus and bring him here."

He nodded, and obediently rushed back towards the castle, stumbling on the slippery steps for a moment before disappearing past the doors.

James and Sirius didn't look at one another, not even when Sirius spoke to him. "Does it hurt?"

He shook his head, noticing that Sirius was still clutching his own arm. But he didn't ask about it. Sirius would just reply the same.

It seemed hours before Remus moved out of the castle, walking quickly towards them, his bunny ears in hand, an I-told-you-so look on his face.

James wanted to shrink away.

"Your bleeding." He stepped up to James and pried his hand away from the bloody mess on his cheek. His voice was cold. He wasn't pleased with them obviously.

"I figured that out, yes Moony."

The werewolf shot him a glare and raised his wand to the wound.

A quick healing and cleaning spell later and he felt his cheek tingle faintly. Strangely.

Remus moved to Sirius, but he seemed unable to help him.

"Does it hurt?" Remus asked the question, and Sirius replied just as he thought he would. A shake of the head. Remus frowned. "Good, because you'll have to get that fixed tomorrow. I think the nurse in at the ball." He looked back towards the castle than suddenly turned to James, his glare intensifying. "Lily's wondering where you are."

He felt a surge of guilt wash through him so large that he had to look away from his friend. "I'm sorry."

"Don't tell me that."

Without another word, Remus turned and walked back to the castle, Peter following in his footsteps unsurely.

After a moments hesitation, James sighed and began to follow. "C'mon mate..."

But Sirius only shook his head and looked at the ground, his hair falling into his eyes, his arm slightly limp at his side. "Go on, Prongs. I'll catch you up."

He knew he wouldn't.

He knew he wouldn't see Sirius again until later that night in the dorms.

But there was nothing he could do.

"See you."

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It felt strange, back in the warmth of the castle, surrounded by students drunk with the nights activities. Laughing, dancing and swapping stories. Enjoying the band and the costumes.

It felt like he had walked back into a place he'd never been. A place that seemed so out of reach now...

Lily made her way over to him almost as soon as he entered into the room, her beautiful green eyes blazing furiously.

She knew.

But she didn't say anything.

She stopped a few steps from him, crossing her arms over her chest.

She looked so beautiful in that dress.

"Lily-"

"Don't James, just..." She trailed off, her gaze melting momentarily to one of worry as she took in the traces of the cut still on his cheek and the blood on his sleeve. "Why did you even have to go?"

He didn't know how to answer.

All Slytherins are bad. They can't be trusted.

He didn't have to follow them outside... he knew.

"We didn't think-"

"No, well that's fairly obvious."

He let out a long sigh and ran a hand through his hair. He realized suddenly his hat was still outside. "Can we go and talk?"

She was quiet, just... watching him well a few students pushed past them, tired and going to their dorms.

He felt his heart pounding in his ears. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head, letting her eyes trail from his face down his chest than finally to the floor. "I was worried... so I didn't want to follow Remus and Peter outside."

"I'm sorry." He repeated, wanting so badly to be alone with her right now. Though he could probably pretend they were very easily. He could always just see her in a crowd of people.

"Go up to bed, James. I'll see you in the morning."

She turned away from him, though it seemed with great difficulty, and wound her way through the students till she was out of site.

Defeated. Exhausted. Humiliated... and now annoyed and heart broken; he turned to head up the commons, deciding he'd wait up for her anyway.

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AN: Now we're getting even more into the story line... you'll just have to wait and see.

Hope this was alright...

REVIEW!


	5. Confession

**Chapter 5**

James sat before the fire, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, watching the dancing of the flames as it licked at the grate and glowing embers. The fire was dying down, but most of the students hadn't returned yet.

Part of him wished he'd stayed and danced with Lily more. Well the other part of him wished he could crawl into a dark hole.

Peter had gone up to his room after following him up to the commons; aware that James didn't want to speak to him. Remus was still at the ball, and Sirius still hadn't come back. Though, he didn't expect he would.

Knowing Sirius, he would be back in their dorm by morning and never talk about the whole incident ever again.

He reached for the top hat that he'd set on the small work table before him. Before going up to the Gryffindor tower, he had gone outside to pick it up from the cold ground. He didn't want Lily to be more mad at him, and loosing the hat she managed to find for him in a muggle costume shop would probably try her nerves even more. He sighed and spun it around his hand a moment before falling back into the comfort of the armchair, rolling his head to the side.

From that angle he watched the portrait hole swing open.

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Lily had escaped easily enough from the ball. Everything seemed to be going fine... besides the incident with James. She was trying not to let that get to her... not to let her down.

How could she have been so stupid?

...Thinking he'd changed.

She felt her eyes well up with tears as she gave the fat lady the password.

"What's wrong, dear?"

She shook her head to the fat women in the pink dress and climbed carefully into the common room, holding her dress up as she went. Stumbling slightly.

She heard the fabric strain as her foot caught within the folds of the dress, and she heard the rip immediately after.

Everything seemed such a waste.

It was hard to see in the room. The slowly dying fire was the only light in the room. She guessed the house elves were too busy helping with the ball to keep the fire going when no one was around to keep warm anyway.

She just needed sleep. That's all she wanted. Sleep.

The tears came now, and she felt a sob rise and escape as she pressed a shaking hand to her mouth.

She was just so tired...

... and mad! Mad at James! He wrecked everything... he was the reason for her confusion, her annoyance, and her sudden feeling of complete hopelessness.

She was in love with him.

She knew it. She was... but she didn't want to be. She couldn't be!

He hadn't changed...

But she couldn't forget the last week of summer.

She froze in her action of leaning into the wall when some motion near the fire caught her attention.

James Potter was moving towards her from the armchair.

"Lily..." His voice was cautious, with a hint of sadness. Somewhere she remembered once, a long time ago, when he told her he didn't like to see her cry.

Especially when he was the cause.

She quickly wiped her tears away, trying to reduce her sniffles. She allowed herself to form a stern glare in his direction, though she couldn't see him properly with the fire behind him. Just shadow.

Something about the situation made her heart pound.

"I'm sorry." So pained. He sounded so pained.

She shook her head and brushed past him, walking over to the couches. Why...? She wanted to sleep, not talk.

She wrapped her arms around herself automatically for comfort. The tears wouldn't stop, and she hated herself for it. She didn't want to cry for him.

"I really am sorry, Lily... I shouldn't have gone, I know. I'm sorry I wrecked your night." She heard him step towards her, but she didn't turn. "Please don't cry over it."

She spun to face him, suddenly very angry. "I'm not-" Her voice broke, and she tried again, her voice fierce. "I'm not crying about that."

Wasn't she? What was she crying about then?

"What _are_ you crying about?" His voice took on a gentle tone and he took a few more steps towards her. He didn't reach out to her.

She felt dizzy, and she bit her lip before speaking. "I-" She shook her head.

He spoke her name again; a breath from his lips. She felt herself shudder.

He was in front of her, lifting her chin gently up so he could see into her eyes. Her tear stained, leaking mascara eyes. She felt suddenly terrible, and she twisted out of his hold, taking several steps away.

"Why are you crying, Lily?" He looked confused now, she noted.

Well good.

She didn't dare think just how confused she was at the moment as well.

"I'm going to bed." She moved quickly towards the stairs but he cut her off, his Quidditch reflects taking hold. He wrapped his arms around her and held her to him.

She didn't fight it, only turned and let the tears come again, burying her face into his shoulder.

He was so warm and solid, and she felt herself break down in his arms.

It was so easy to love him! Why did she still fight it?

_Because he didn't change._

But he did. She knew he did! He wasn't the same James. Or else she wouldn't...

She wouldn't love the old James.

But she had been in love with him all along, even before summer...

That was why she went to his house for that last week. Desperate or not... she remembered getting a small thrill at the thought. Something she'd repressed until now.

He told her the Marauder's secret. He kissed her that night after the tire swing... and he made her feel warm and loved in a way that no other boy had ever been able to. He made her feel special...

And he was special to her.

She loved James...

It seemed so long they were just standing there, holding one another as the embers completely died away and the common room plunged into darkness.

"Come upstairs with me, and we'll talk." He whispered into her ear after a long while. His breath tickled her cheek and neck and it made her feel content, along with something else.

She pulled back, but kept her eyes on his chest as she nodded, only barely registering that it probably wouldn't be right to go up to the boy's dorm.

"Peter's up there, but he's probably asleep." He added quietly, pulling away from her slowly. Holding her hand he led her towards the boy's dorm stairway.

Peter was indeed asleep, and snoring loudly she noticed when they entered. James motioned her off towards his bed as she hesitated at the door. He patted the spot next to him as he sat down before turning around to pull the hangings closed on one side so that Peter wouldn't be able to see him.

She felt a funny feeling somewhere in the pit of her stomach.

"James..."

"What?" He looked so innocent, and she suddenly had to hold back a smile.

She moved over and sat next to him, on the very edge of the bed, clutching her hands in her lap, very much the nervous school girl.

James moved into her line of view with a kind smile on his face and he gently kissed her. As she closed her eyes she felt one of his callused hands cup the side of her face and the other caught up her hands from her lap. She shivered as his fingers brushed over her temple and wound through her hair and leaned more into him, allowing herself to deepen the kiss to which he responded immediately.

She didn't know how it happened, or when, but when she opened her eyes, she found herself flat on her back across his bed with him hovering over her. The light was bad, but she could tell he was watching her, his hair standing up in odd angles. Memories of herself running her hand through his hair as his mouth danced with hers.

She felt a warm sensation spread through her, and whispered his name.

"Lily..." He spoke hers in turn, but his voice was different. Determined. Anxious.

She moved to sit up, but he brought a hand up and gently pressed into her shoulder, holding her down.

He started again. "Lily..." She could hear him swallow loudly.

"I love you."

_I love you._

She let out slow long breath and moved to sit up again. This time he let her.

She couldn't answer him. It was there.. just there at the tip of her tongue. But something held her back.

But he seemed to know.

He always seemed to know.

"You don't have to answer. I just- I just wanted you to know."

She nodded, feeling very numb, than smiled faintly as he nuzzled her neck.

Both jumped away from each other however when Remus came into the room looking very harassed.

The werewolf stopped at the door as soon as his eyes landed on James and Lily, and for a moment, all three were frozen, just... staring at each other.

Finally... "I _hate_ dances."

Remus made his way over to bed where he immediately climbed in, costume and all, and whipped the curtains shut.

Lily and James both passed a secret look to each other, grins withheld, before breaking into laughter.

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AN:

Hope that was ok...

Really people, I need reviews.. I think I got like...2 from the last chapter... something like that.


	6. Unease

**Chapter 6**

She looked so perfect. That was the only word he could use to describe her.

Perfect, as his hands ran through her auburn locks that fanned out over his pillow. Perfect as she gave a small sigh of content in her sleep and snuggled closer to his chest, one hand unconsciously coming up to grip at his dress shirt that remained on. Her wonderful lips parted as her breath came in small, slow intervals. The dress she wore fanned out along with hair across his mattress like liquid, the many folds shifting and ruffling whenever she moved.

Smiling, he removed his hand from her hair and ran a thumb across her smooth cheek, free of blemishes, realizing with slight amusement he had only ever seen her with a blemish once or twice. Her cheeks took on a rosy hue even in her sleep that could match her hair in an instant if provoked. He loved that about her.

His thumb brushed gently over her eyelid, her long dark eyelashes. He had a fleeting wish to see her eyes at that moment. Her beautiful emerald eyes that often left him breathless. Even tonight when they had been threatening tears. He swallowed, realizing what he had done.

He both hurt her and confessed in one night. The one thing he'd wanted to say to her for years now had come out. He'd loved her since the moment, long ago, when she told him he should be studying instead of playing exploding snap with Sirius. His eyebrows had been singed at the time.

That bossy little redhead that time and time again pointedly refused to date him. Though, looking back, he had realized he had been a little obnoxious. Remus had told him this many times.

Last summer, when he decided to change... for her... she had given into him. Once he just started to act more like himself. Grew up a little bit. She had fallen for him.

He knew how she felt... she _must_ love him.

...Lately she'd been looking at him the exact same way he must have been looking at her all those years. That look that Sirius often described as pathetic.

As if on que, Sirius entered the dorm room, heading directly towards his bed without a word, looking slightly defeated. His shoulders slumped, his normal grin completely absent.

When he stopped in the middle of the room, and turned his blue eyes towards James however, he realized that Sirius must not have thought him awake, thus his quiet entrance.

His eyes moved from his best friend to Lily in his arms. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

James shook his head, eyeing the boy turned man before him. "No... I wasn't asleep."

Sirius moved over to his own bed, the one next to James' and took a seat, removing his dress shoes and setting the cat ears he had been carrying in his hands on the night stand. "She'll have a right surprise in the morning." He made a small motion towards the redhead.

James smiled, but not the usual grin he held when around Sirius. "How's your arm, Padfoot?"

Sirius merely shrugged, though by the action, James could tell it wasn't fairing well. "I'll see Pomfrey in the morning."

James nodded, not wanting to continue with the subject, as it was obvious Sirius didn't either. "Moony didn't enjoy tonight very much."

Both boys turned to look in the direction of Remus' bed. His hangings were still pulled closed, his costume lay at a heap at the side of his bed. Sirius grimaced, a look of guilt creeping onto his face to match James'. "We shouldn't have left him alone."

"No, we shouldn't have." James admitted, falling back onto his pillow and resting his head next to Lily's. "We'll apologies in the morning."

Sirius nodded and moved onto his bed, fluffing the pillow before resting his head against it.

It was quiet for a long while, and James was starting to drift off a bit, his arm lazily over Lily's side when Sirius' voice broke the silence. "I'm sorry."

James knew what he was talking about right away. "Don't be. I followed."

There was no more to be said, and James closed his eyes again, inhaling the smell of flowers and vanilla.

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Lily awoke feeling particularly refreshed and warm, and her first thought was 'This will be a good day' followed almost immediately by 'why is Black in the girl's dorm?'

She sat up to tell the obnoxious black haired boy to leave at once, or she'd call a teacher when she realized that a very masculine arm was around her waist.

She took a good look around 'her' dorm room at that point, feeling a sudden amount of dread well up in her.

Remus was staring back at her curiously from his bed across the room, her hair mussed. Peter sat not too far off, watching her with something like awe on his face. A very tired looking James lay next to her, a smile on his handsome face and Sirius Black was standing before her.

Once again his bark-like laughter- the reason she woke up in the first place- rang through the room, and he asked, his blue eyes dancing, "Have a good sleep, Evans?"

She bristled and turned around in her bed... James' bed... to give him a piece of her mind. "Why did you let me sleep here?" She asked, a hint of panic in her voice.

He shrugged and sat up, seemingly reluctant to let go of her waist. He ran a hand through his already on edge hair and yawned before answering. "I thought you looked comfortable." Than he smiled and added. "I was comfortable."

"Pervert." She mumbled, unable to hold back the amazing blush now forming. She struggled off his bed, the dress she realized she was still wearing holding her down. Once free of the confines of his blankets she turned and glared at all the males present, with the exception of Remus who seemed embarrassed enough having been caught in his boxer shorts half awake. She opened her mouth to let out a tyrant of well versed lectures and complaints, but found, given the circumstances, it wouldn't be right too. So instead, she turned on her heel and stomped out of the room, mumbling intelligible comments all the way down the staircase.

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The bathroom was hot and steamy when she stepped out of the shower, and she dried herself quickly off with the red towels provided by the school.

She refreshed, but the embarrassment from that morning still had yet to ware off- Sirius would never let her live that down. She became more embarrassed however when she remembered the events of the night before.

She went from enjoying the dance, to angry, to disappointed, to sad and back again to happy all in the expanse of a few hours. She was still exhausted from it all despite the restful sleep she had obtained in James' arms.

The James that told her he loved her.

She knew it was coming. But when it actually happened... when the words left his mouth... and the look on his face...

Lily sighed and ran her hand along the mirror, wiping away the foggy impression, bringing her face into clarity. She leaned into the sink, bringing her face closer to the glass.

She didn't understand it. Why her? He explained it to her that night before they came to Hogwarts, yes... Destiny. That's what he said. But how could she believe that? No matter how much she wanted to, she still didn't see why he chose her over any other girl in school. Merlin... James would probably have a very good pick of the girls _out_ of school.

She brought a hand to her hair, a look of distaste crossing her features. She wished she had dark hair sometimes. Blonde maybe... Anything that didn't make the small freckles on her nose stand out more, or her blush match her hair. But these were things that she knew James liked about her. He told her so on several occasions.

With a final look of annoyance at her reflection she turned and left the bathroom to get dressed for class.

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"Something isn't right."

Sirius looked up from his text book that he was blindly staring at, Professor Flitwick squeaking in the background. He turned to look in the direction James' attention was most obviously.

Narcissa was sitting with her usual group of Slytherin's. All whispering amongst themselves well passing small looks towards the Marauders.

"What?" Sirius voice held obvious annoyance and spite as he returned to staring at his book.

James furrowed his brow, still watching the Slytherins as he replied. "They're not telling people about the fight."

Sirius slammed his book shut, causing Remus to turn around in his seat to look at him. "Shouldn't that be a good thing?" His voice was constrained, as if he wanted to yell but was holding it back. James knew that was the case...

He opened his mouth to reply but Remus cut in, his voice waspish... obviously he was still a tad peeved about the other night. "Will you two shut up? This will be on our N.E.W.T's."

Lily turned to look back at them as well as he spoke, her gaze curious as James turned back towards the front, his jaw set.

They listened for a few minutes more before Sirius leaned in to speak to James. "Don't bring it up, and maybe they won't." Remus sighed from in front of them but didn't turn around again, however Lily did.

"Isn't it possible they are just as embarrassed?"

Sirius scowled but James put on a wry smile. "I don't think it would bother them Lily, they won."

"Can we drop it?" Sirius hissed and Remus muttered, "Good plan."

They all turned back to the professor, but James, as he did so, caught Narcissa and Snape staring in their direction. As his hazel eyes narrowed in suspicion, a slow, malicious smile formed on Narcissa's face before he turned away.

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"You're becoming obsessive."

James turned away from the Slytherin table and shot a glare at Remus across from him. The werewolf was watching him with a mixture of worry and anger. Peter was sitting beside him, looking as if he didn't want to get involved... which he probably didn't.

James let his eyes linger on the pudgy blonde boy a moment, his eyes narrowing causing Peter to slink into the bench more.

He couldn't help thinking venomous thoughts towards the boy at that moment, and had no idea why. 'Coward.'

"James, I mean it."

He snapped his attention back to the brunette and shook his head. "Sirius had noticed it too... since Halloween they've been acting odd."

"I haven't noticed them acting any different than their normal nasty selves." Lily moved onto the bench next to James. Setting her book bag at her feet she pulled the bowl of pasta towards her, eyeing both Remus and James as she did before averting her gaze to her plate. "Martha Brindell didn't miss her opportunity to call me a "mudblood" as soon as I entered the hall."

James' anger flared instantly and he glanced over to the doors as if hoping the Slytherin girl was still standing there. He felt a strong need to hex someone into oblivion, and if it meant sticking up for his girlfriend at the same time... well...

"Honestly though James... Sirius is right. They haven't brought up the fight... don't worry about it." Remus' voice took on a softer tone than earlier, seeming to have seen the evident explosion just below the surface. James was ready to blow.

He turned and snapped. "That's exactly why I'm worrying." He visibly bristled, his messy hair seeming to stand more on end. "And those looks they keep passing me in the halls constantly-"

"No more than usual."

"-Damn right annoying those are."

"Still James you can't-" Remus tried to cut in.

"And _Snivellus_ said something the other day that didn't seem right."

Remus frowned deeply and went back to eating his pasta, obviously knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere with James now.

"What did he say?" Peter's voice broke the tense silence that suddenly fell over the group.

James rounded on him, and for a brief moment Lily thought he would hit the small boy.

"Something about sending a letter home."

Lily frowned, and Remus looked up from his food, a strange look on his face.

"What did he mean by that?" Lily asked quietly, noticing with some fear that some color had drained from Remus' face. The werewolf was obviously thinking along the same lines as her.

"How should I bloody know!" James ran a hand through his hair and looked fleetingly over to the Slytherin table. "Maybe I _should_ send a letter home." He moved to get up, all food forgotten.

Lily stood up as well. "I'll come with you to the owlery."

He smiled now. Small, but genuine and took her hand as she stood up from retrieving her books.

As soon as they left the hall Remus turned to look at Peter, a worried expression on his face.

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James held onto his black owl, Horris, well Lily hastily tied James' quickly written letter to his foot, her green eyes narrowed as she tried to see the string in the dim light the moon provided the room. Sighing with irritation, she stepped back, pulled out her wand and mutter _"lumos"_ . Instantly the space was lit up and Horris ruffled his feathers with obvious annoyance.

Lily went back to tying the string. "You really shouldn't let the Slytherins get to you, James. I'm used to it."

He snorted, though his gaze softened as he looked down at her. "That's not a good thing."

"No, I suppose not..." She finished tying the string and stepped back from the bird. "All done."

He nodded and went to the open windows, muttering something under his breath to Horris that she wasn't able to hear. He watched the bird out of sight before turning back to her. "It's gotten worse with them as the attacks become for frequent." His voice was quiet as he spoke... kind... and she realized he was trying not to scare her.

It did little to stop her fears for her parents and sister however.

She shook her head, and moved to leave the room and he followed, eager to leave the dropping strewn floors behind. "They're just big headed fools." She muttered.

"Who, once done with this school, will most likely follow in their parents footsteps."

"You have no doubt than?"

He turned to look at her as they walked down the stairway and into the hallway below. "About what?"

"That they're vile people."

"Do you?"

She was silent a while, before shaking her head. "Maybe... but a part of it is just appearance."

"That makes them even more vile." His voice was dangerously low and she turned to look at him, tilting her head to see his face properly.

"Things might change once they leave school." She knew she sounded hopeful, and she could see the tell tale marks of a smirk forming on James' face.

"Would you really want to work with one of them at the ministry? They were put into Slytherin for a reason."

"The hat wanted to put me into Ravenclaw."

He turned to look down at her, a look of surprise on his face for a moment before he smiled. "I thought so."

"You don't think that maybe some of them asked to be in Slytherin to make their parents happy?" She furrowed her brow and James felt he wanted to kiss her, despite the conversation.

"Look at Sirius."

"Yes, looking at Sirius I can definitely see he wanted to make his parents happy."

James looked down at her once more in surprise at her sarcastic tone, nearly stopping in his tracks. She turned to look at him, her gaze full of defiance.

"Lily..."

She shook her head. "Let's just forget it." She smiled, though it looked slightly forced, and grabbed his hand, pulling him along down the corridor.

He followed, lacing his fingers with hers in the process. "Are you still mad about this morning?"

She stopped than, turning around to face him, her face showing her surprise from the sudden question. "What?"

"That I didn't wake you up. Are you mad?"

She blushed. He could see it in the torch light. But he felt he really wanted to know the answer.

Finally, after staring up at him for what seemed forever, she looked down at her feet and answered, "Not really."

"Not really? Honestly Lily, I would have brought you to your dorm if I'd have woken up a bit earlier."

She shook her head, laughter apparent as she spoke. "And have the staircase scream and spit you back down again. Sirius already tried that."

"I forgot about that." He answered honestly, looking up to the ceiling a moment as if deep in thought. "I wonder if you could just fly up to the window?"

"Don't get any ideas."

"-Maybe there's a switch or something... maybe a trick step?"

"James, don't." She was laughing.

"But what if I want to tuck you in one night?"

Shaking her head and pulling him along the hall again, she chuckled to herself, her eyes dancing. "Pervert."

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AN: Hope this chapter was ok... next chapter will be a bit...angsty... just to warn you

REVIEW PLEASE!


	7. World End

Seriously people... what's with the lack of reviews? Does this story just suck or something? I honestly want people's opinions! I don't want to continue a story if I feel it's pointless.

Though I must thank the people who did review. Much love to you all! -hugs-

**Chapter 7**

Over the next week, James was beginning to become more and more like Sirius. Closed. Easy to agitate. He even snapped a few times at Lily for no reason one night well they were doing homework.

This was one of those times.

Lily slammed her book forcefully closed, sending some of the spare parchment drifting across the table and onto the floor at James' side. He was looking at her in surprise as she stood, the book under her arm, a fierce look on her face as she looked down at him.

"I'm not going to sit here with you unless you calm down." Her voice was quiet, as there were a few younger students studying in the corner. The book slamming already had gotten their attention. She didn't need any yelling to add to their gossip.

His surprised look turned to anger in a minute, reminding her much of the times when they didn't get along. "I am calm."

"No you're not!"

One of the students in the corner turned to their friend and started to whisper.

She sighed and continued, her voice quiet. "Just... relax a little James. You've been tense all week."

"I wonder why." His voice was wry, reminding her forcibly of Sirius' brand of sarcasm.

"I don't need to take this." She turned away, and began towards her dormitory well James called after her.

"Fine! I don't think I need to take your know it all attitude right now anyway!"

Just as her foot landed on the first step, and she let out a snort of annoyance, she heard someone enter through the portrait hole, than Professor McGonagall's voice rang through the now quiet common room. Lily turned to regard her.

"Mr. Potter... The headmaster wishes to speak to you."

In James' anger, he must not have noticed the sad look on her face, or the quiet tone to her usually snappish voice. She felt a sudden dread as the portrait swung shut behind them and they disappeared from sight.

Before she realized what she was doing, she'd dropped her book on the stairwell and ran towards the boys dorms.

She must have startled Remus and Sirius terribly, because when the door slammed against the stone wall as she pushed it open, Remus jumped and Sirius dropped the glass he was holding. The glass shattered against the floor, and the water it contained began to soak into the throw rug. At least... she thought it was water.

"Bloody hell, Evans! What do you think you're-"

"McGonagall just took James with her to see Dumbledore." She cut him off, the tumbling out of her mouth. She felt frantic.

Sirius didn't seem to see any significance in this, but Remus suddenly looked a bit more paler than usual. He stood from where he'd been sitting on one of the beds and moved over towards her.

She didn't realise she'd been shaking until Remus lightly touched her shoulder. "What did she say?"

Lily shook her head, trying to collect her thoughts together. First the fight with the Slytherins... and the threats. The letter James sent home...

"Did James ever get a reply back from his parents?" She asked, placing a hand to her head. It was starting to pound right behind her right eye.

Sirius shook his head. "No." He looked uncertain now. Just as nervous and edgy as the other two. "He said that they must be on a mission for the ministry."

They all fell silent.

It was Remus to break the sudden tension in the room. "We'll... wait and see what happens." She watched as he fought to swallow a moment before turning away from her moving back to his bed. She'd come to realize later that this was the werewolves way of dealing with things he had no control over.

Sirius on the other hand...

"I'm going to look for him." He moved hastily towards the door, but Lily, not quite knowing she had moved herself, stepped in his way.

Remus had turned back around and was watching Sirius.

"He's with McGonagall. So unless you plan on stomping into her office or the headmasters..." She trailed off at the angry look on Sirius' face.

"That's exactly what I'm planning to do actually." He brushed past her as she searched for a way to stop him, biting her bottom lip in thought and anxiety.

Remus was faster at thinking under pressure.

**_"Impedimenta."_ **

The tall boy froze with his hand on the doorknob as Remus slipped off from the bed and moved over to them both, sighing to show his regret for using the spell. "If your going to be difficult Padfoot, I can too." He stepped up beside Sirius and frowned up at him. Sirius had his eyes narrowed, but he seemed unable to speak. "We'll _wait_." His voice held such finality that Lily didn't even want to leave the room until James got back.

She took a seat on the end of James' bed, brushing aside a T-shirt of his as she did so, watching with worry as Remus unfroze Sirius. Instead of back lashing like she thought he would, he quietly moved over towards his own bed, falling into it before pulling the curtains closed.

Remus smiled apologetically towards Lily, though she saw it wasn't like his usual quiet smiles.

"Can I stay here and wait?"

He nodded and moved over towards his bed, sitting at the end like Lily was doing with his head almost between his knees.

She knew he was listening for the sound of James' footsteps on the dormitory stairs.

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Hours passed and still James didn't appear. This only increased everyone's grief. The longer it took, the more they began to believe that something bad actually did happen.

Remus had dosed off after a while of waiting, and was laying on top his comforter on his side, curled up slightly. She had no idea what Sirius was doing, as he hadn't spoken to them since Remus cursed him. He was still behind his bed curtains, but she had a feeling he was waiting up just like her. Peter had appeared a little while ago, but left immediately after seeing her sitting on the bed, stuttering a quick excuse that sounded like it had to do with studying.

Lily was getting tired to staring up at a canvas over top James' bed, but wasn't even considering returning to her own room. She knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything properly until James returned. Her homework wasn't important anymore. Her whole school life no longer seemed to matter. All that mattered was James' return, and hopefully they had misunderstood.

Nothing had happened to Mr. and Mrs. Potter.

It was just their imagination.

If Lily's parents were fine... why couldn't James' be? Trained Aurors. They had magic to defend themselves.

Surely...

But she knew instantly that wasn't the case when James returned at 12'o clock, long past all the other students had gone to bed. Lily felt that her and the Marauders were the only one left in the school now. All else seemed surreal. James face seemed surreal when he entered the common room.

Never had she seen his face so blank before.

Like she suspected, Sirius had been waiting up just like herself, so when she moved to get up from his bed the hangings around Sirius' bed were thrown open and Remus jerked awake.

James didn't seem to like so much attention on him at the moment however, as he avoiding their gazes and went straight for his trunk.

Remus ventured first, as no one else seemed able to, too thrown off by the look on James' now pale face.

"James what..." He stopped his question halfway through when he saw what James was doing.

Packing his trunk.

"What are you doing?" He got off his bed and padded towards his friend. Sirius and Lily didn't turn away from James.

"Packing."

His voice was so monotone. So dead that Lily felt tears come to her eyes and she blinked them back. She didn't need James to see her in such distress when he so obviously already was.

"For... for what?" Remus' voice had become quieter, and Lily wasn't sure if he was trying to be soothing, or was just afraid to ask the question.

James slammed the lid to his trunk down so forcefully that Lily jumped and Sirius moved from his bed towards his best mate who was currently glaring at the wall.

"James?" Sirius' voice was cautious in a way that Lily hadn't heard before, and she felt suddenly like she was intruding on something personal. A bonding between friends. A share of grief and sorrow that could not possibly include her. But when she began to edge towards the door Remus shot her a look that clearly told her to stay put.

"Why are you packing?" Remus ventured into unknown territory once again. After all, he was the one that always kept the boys in check. It was his duty as their friend. Remus, the level headed one... and if someone was hurting...

"Shut it, Remus! Get off my back!" He spun on the brunette, pinning him with a glare to top all others.

Remus seemed to be expecting an outburst like that, but at his calm reaction to James' words, James turned and kicked his trunk roughly in frustration, causing it to scratch across the stone floor and 'thunk' loudly into his bed frame causing the bed to rattle.

Sirius jumped in, and Lily knew right away he would be able to settle the black haired youth down. She'd seen Sirius do it before, and visa-versa for James. They kept each other in check when Remus wasn't able to.

But Lily was still frightened.

"Prongs! We can't help you if you don't tell us what's wrong!"

**_"Everything is!"_**

The room fell completely silent, and they could hear students in the rooms below and all around speaking, obviously awaken by James' yelling.

Didn't they know someone's world was ending? Couldn't they just... shut off for a moment?

Lily couldn't stop the flow of tears.

"And there's-" He cut himself off, his voice breaking as tears threatened to wash over himself. He swallowed and turned to look at his beaten trunk. He tried again. "There's _nothing_ you can do to help."

Silence once more.

Remus took a seat at the end of his bed, dread washing over his face at the sight of his good friend breaking down before them. Sirius looked like he didn't know what to do.

...And Lily broke into sobs over in the corner, placing a trembling hand to her mouth as the full impact of everything caught up with her. She felt sick.

James...

At her sudden sob, James swung around, and... as if just noticing her there for the first time, his eyes took on a pained expression. The blank look disappeared. His anger melted away.

"Lily..." His voice was a trembling whisper and in a moment she found herself wrapped in his arms, her back against the wall. The cold stone seemed to be supporting them both as James buried his head into her neck. She could feel his hot tears now, mixing with her own, sliding down her neck, his breath rushing out in small gasps and sighs. His arms wound their way around her back, pinning her to him.

Sirius and Remus were silent, they now feeling the ones out of place in their world. A place no one could touch that was quickly crumbling.

"They're gone." His voice was a weak sob, but it filled the room. Every crack and crevasse. She could hear the other boys shifting at the words sunk in. She could feel the grief soak the room and effect them all. Drown them.

Sirius asked the question they were all wondering. That one word that would break James completely.

"How?"

James' grip on Lily tightened, his head going further into the comfort of her shoulder. His face pressed to her neck as he let his warmth comfort him. She brought a trembling hand to his shoulder, then brushed them through his mess of hair. He gasped at the touch and she felt the tears come afresh.

He didn't need to answer. They knew.

Somewhere between being silently watched over. Between the gentle strokes of fingers through his hair and words of comfort from his friends and love, James fell into a deep sleep that lasted way into the next day.

Nobody wanted to wake him. His sleep was too peaceful. He looked untouched laying there on his bed, his trunk half packed at his feet.

Nobody had the heart to wake him from his dreams, knowing he'd be living a nightmare when he finally awoke.


	8. Conflict

Chapter 8

The Potter's funeral was set on a typically cold, Fall day which took place outside in a graveyard close to the very house Lily visited for the last week of summer.

She held James' hand as their twin caskets were placed into the Potter family tomb that looked fairly new compared to the other falling apart stone buildings around it. James explained on the ministry care ride that it was recently built when his grandparents passed away not that long ago.

That was all they seemed able to get out of James lately. He was silent most of the time, but when he did speak, it was only small little things so mundane like when their family tomb was constructed, or what the weather was suppose to be like that day.

Sirius stood dutifully next to James during the whole procession. His hand coming down to clamp on his best friends shoulder a few times. Often when James took a large intake of breath or held on a bit tighter to Lily's hand. Or when he made an involuntary movement towards the deep blue caskets when they were lifted by the Potter's coworkers from the ministry.

Lily cried right along side all the other women there.

James and Sirius kept their mouths in firm, strict lines. Their eyes set in a cold distant look that she'd never seen before.

Remus stayed a bit off from the entire group, ignoring all motions from Sirius to come stand with them.

She knew how he felt. Like an outsider. Unworthy of sharing in the grief of all these loved ones. She'd only known the Potters for a week, besides the brief glances of them in earlier years on the train platform.

Once she'd watched as James' mother kissed his head before he'd moved onto the train with his friends. A long time ago now. She remembered James' blush as he moved away from his parents and onto the first step of the train.

She remembered the adoration on their faces as they watched their only son board onto the Hogwarts Express towards a future.

A future they would no longer be able to share in now.

She suddenly felt James' grip tighten on her hand once more, and she looked up towards his face, turned away from hers as he watched the heavy door being closed in place over the front of the tomb. She wiped her tears on the sleeve of the navy sweater she was wearing.

She didn't own any nice black things.

"James."

Sirius' voice came from James' other side, but she didn't turn her face away from her boyfriend. Sirius' hand once again settled itself on James' shoulders, the expensive dark robes he was wearing scrunching at his touch. A moment later and Sirius' face swam into view.

She was still blinded by her tears. Everything was a blur of bright splotches of color amid the black everyone was wearing. The color of sorrow.

"Hm...?" James finally moved, turning his attention to Sirius. Though, she knew his attention wasn't really there. His mind had wandered off into the tomb with his parents.

"Let's get going, Mate."

Black's voice was so gentle. If she hadn't been used to it over the last few days it would have thrown her.

With a last look at the tomb, James resolutely turned from it and led the procession away from the grave. They made their way down the small hill and out into the small sleepy street of Godric Hollow. Remus fell into step as they did so, keeping silent. Walking with his head down. His brunette hair falling into his eyes.

Lily stayed outside almost the entire time with Remus as James circulated his house talking to relatives and friends of his parents. Taking all the sympathy and pity with a blank look on his face. Sirius, as standing best friend, made the rounds with him, standing back as James nodded to all the things spoken to him.

_"Your parents were very brave."_

_"Died honorably-"_

The sun was setting when James and Sirius wandered outside to join them.

It took them a moment to see them both sitting there, leaning against the porch, watching them as both boys turned to regard the expansive garden in the back. The willow tree was caught in a slow dance with the wind.

Lily watched, mesmerized, as a piece of midnight hair brushed against James' cheek, his hazel eyes took in his own backyard with a sort of detachment she hadn't seen before from him. Her heart plummeted, and she stirred at Remus took a step towards his friends.

She was silently happy that Peter wasn't there. He might make things worse.

"How are you doing?" Remus' voice was careful and kind, but James still shot him a look that said, 'how do you think I'm doing' before the look softened into a kind of tiredness that his whole demeanor was portraying since they got back to the house.

"Tired." He answered honestly, causing Sirius to turn away from the door. He had been looking into the house, watching the guests mingle, a disturbed expression on his face. No doubt hating the people inside, all laughing and enjoying themselves.

Though Lily knew the Potter's probably didn't want people to be depressed for them. James especially.

"We could make excused for you if you want, Prongs." Sirius' voice was strange to her at that moment. Probably his tone. So different than usual. All the fun seemed to be sapped out of it.

James shook his head. "No... you guys could leave though, if you want."

"We're not leaving you here alone." Remus' voice was stern, a deep frown etched into his features. Lily nodded, knowing she meant to say the same thing, just not finding the words.

Sirius turned back towards the door.

"Look..." James looked so exhausted... "If you want to leave, I won't mind. You can go upstairs if you want."

"Only if you come with us." There. Her voice was working now.

James turned towards her, his eyes moving over her face a moment before he finally nodded. Lily walked forward and took his hand in hers, leading him back into the house and quickly over towards the stairs. She could hear Remus and Sirius follow.

No one seemed to pay them any mind, or if they did they pretended they didn't notice the young man's exit as he made his way up the stairs to his bedroom.

Someone laughed from the kitchen, and Lily watched as James' shoulders tensed as he reached the top of the stairs. It was strange to him, to hear someone laughing at a time like this. It would take some adjusting...

Remus shut the door after they had all entered, and Lily moved over to James' bed, sitting on the edge uncomfortably. Sirius seemed caught between standing near the wall or moving to James' side as his best friend went towards the window. From there it was a clear view of his back yard. Lily had a momentary memory of James climbing the large oak tree there to retrieve their kite.

That seemed so long ago...

"I'm going to kill them."

Lily blinked, and turned startled eyes towards James well Remus shifted uncomfortably before sinking into the bed next to her. James didn't turn towards them.

"You'll be just as bad as them if you do." Sirius' voice was venomously low, and Lily realized what they were talking about.

"Do you think that the Slytherins knew-...?"

"Of course they knew Evans, their parents were probably behind it all."

She shrank away from Sirius' harsh voice and turned tearful eyes towards her lap. Remus put a hand on her shoulder.

"There isn't a possibility they were just guessing?"

Sirius scowled. "Think Moony. There's one person who would have known for sure what was happening, and I don't think she'd hesitate to tell her sister."

"Bellatrix."

They all turned to James, watching as his face turned into a look of determination, and his hands clenched onto the window sill. His knuckles slowly whitened.

The room fell silent once again, and Lily felt a certain amount of unease wash over all of them. This new realization made the once safe, haven-like Hogwarts a possible death trap.

If Voldemort's greatest supporters could access the students through certain individuals... who was really safe? No one anymore.

---------------------------------------------------

Her fears were realized as soon as she got back to school. They'd flooed in, as it was easier... safer... and tried to go back to their normal daily routine.

James was becoming increasingly more and more quiet, and the only time he really spoke was when he was being asked a question in class or when him and Sirius were huddled in a corner of the common room, looking over a worn sheet of parchment and pointing out things every once in a while.

Remus tried to keep her company at these times, but it couldn't make the pain go away. Every minute she spent with James was just full of uncomfortable silences and him spacing out continuously, going to a place she would never be able to follow him.

He seemed lost to her, and to everyone else.

The real conflict began after dinner one night, in the entrance hall. James and Sirius got into a small conflict with a group of Slytherins.

Narcissa and the others came, and it quickly escalated from a small tiff to a full scale war before the professors could arrive...

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Hey all... my god. I'm sooooo sorry it took me so long to update. I've had this chapter half finished for ages. I still don't like it very much, but I have to get this fic done.

Once again, so sorry :(

Review pleaz


	9. Falling Out

Chapter 9

"Do you understand yet, Pete?" Sirius chuckled at the aggravation in Remus' voice as the werewolf, for what must have been the 4th time that day, was trying to explain charms theory to their... rather slow friend.

Peter still looked incredibly lost.

"You're wasting your time Moony." Sirius told him with a wolfish grin, causing Remus to glare at him and turn his attention to Peter again who looked like he would begin to cry at any moment.

Sirius, in one of his many acts to try and get James involved in their conversations, nudged the bespectacled boy, causing James' elbow to slide into the butter dish.

"Sirius, bugger off." Even so, he turned his attention towards his best mate.

"I was just going to point out that Lily isn't here."

"I've noticed."

"Aren't you going to go looking for her?"

"No."

Sirius frowned and passed a knowing look to Peter and Remus who were watching the exchange with worried eyes.

Remus jumped in. "You haven't been talking much to her lately..."

"There's nothing to say." He viscously cut into a potato.

Sirius let out an exasperated sigh. "What ever happened to the Prongsie who would run around the school looking for the love of his life."

This comment went a bit too far, and they all realized it as soon as it came slipped from the tall boy's mouth. He shut his mouth with a snap and turned cautious eyes on James who was gripping his knife rather tightly.

Without an explosion like they expected, he dropped the utensil, stood from the table, and in a rather dark voice told them he was going to head up to the commons to study.

There was a resounding silence as the group of boys watched him slump out of the Great Hall. They all turned to each other as he turned the corner.

"He's been avoiding Lily."

Sirius sighed. "I know. He's miserable about it too."

"Why is he avoiding her?" Peter interjected, cowering back slightly as Sirius turned blue, gray eyes on him. He however, just shrugged.

"It could be a number of reasons." Remus' eyes were on the doorway. "It could have something to do with her worrying about her parents. James' parents..." he faltered. "Well... they weren't even safe and they weren't muggles." He opened his mouth to explain further, but suddenly closed it, his eyebrows contracted over his stormy eyes.

He suddenly stood. "Some thing's going on out there."

Sirius bent back on the bench in order to see out the doorway. A few Slytherins were slipping out through it, all wearing secret grins.

"Shit."

He stood from the table and strode after Remus towards the doors, Peter at their heels. All with mixtures of panic and dread flooding them.

The entrance hall was in the exact state they expected it to be in.

James was walking next to a tall, bulky Slytherin boy named Braiden Edwards who smelt bad and had terrible rotting teeth. Both had their wands out as they headed out of the hall to the court yard outside.

The group of Slytherins whom had been in the hall were following casually behind, all with their hands in their pockets, fingering their wands no doubt.

James was glaring at them all, and when his gaze caught with his friend's a small flicker of relief passed across his face before he turned to look resolutely in the direction they were headed.

Sirius cursed again and began to follow, his own hand wrapped firmly around his wand and he felt Remus and Peter follow suite behind him.

It was cold outside. The wind was sweeping dead leaves along the ground and leafless winter branches rattled together. There had been frost that morning on their window pane, signs of winter settling in.

They all hated winter.

Edwards had been the first to attack, knocking James to his side where he smacked his head against the cobblestones. Edwards hadn't even used magic, only smashed a boulder sized fist into the side of his head.

His glasses had flew off, landing too far out of his reach.

Sirius and the others sprang into action, just as the other Slytherins came to their senses and pulled their own wands from their pockets.

Nobody moved as James stood quietly to his feet, and several other students laughed at him.

He didn't seem to care.

He didn't seem to care he couldn't see properly either.

It didn't stop him from raising his wand arm and blasting Edwards back a few paces onto his rear, and than blasting a few of his mates who were recently gawfing at him.

It turned into a full on attack when Sirius, Remus and Peter began firing off shots at the remaining Slytherins. Though Peter was taken out fairly quickly in the action. He was gushing blood all over the cobblestones from a continually bleeding nose.

Sirius had a long cut along his arm that was stinging like mad. He ignored it.

In the center of it all was James, fighting like it was his last battle, standing strong and proud, dodging spells despite his poor eyesight and limp he'd obtained in his left leg. A mad look to his eyes that made Sirius hesitate when he came to his side when the last Slytherin fell.

"James."

He didn't look around, only blocked a spell aimed at them by a blonde girl who was rushing down the stairs with Severus Snape and Regulus Black in tow.

Narcissa.

Everyone backed off. Her smile gave them goose bumps as she came calmly forward. The hand she held her wand in, twitching uncomfortably. "Potter."

James's hands were shaking, and Sirius thought for a moment that he might snap his wand in half.

Regulus had his wand pointed at Remus and Peter threateningly. Snape stayed near the door.

"Word is you've gone a bit mad." Her voice was shrill with amusement, her blue eyes crinkled with laughter. Her wand was held steadily in front of her. "Miss your parents?"

James took a sharp intake of breath, made a quick movement with his wand with no incantation.

Narcissa let out a gasp of surprise, crumpling to the cobblestone, and before any of them could react, McGonagall, Slughorn and Lily came rushing down from the castle. In a moment all their wands were plucked from their hands and went soaring in their direction.

There was also a strangle cry from Lily and McGonagall shrieked. "Mr. Potter!"

Sirius spun wildly towards where James had previously been standing, and made a sudden grab to pull him back. He was going towards the unconscious Narcissa without faltering and was only brought down when Flitwick squeaked out a _**"Incarcerous**"_ causing James to fall to his side, bound in tight ropes which came from the charms professor's wand.

Both teachers hurried forward.

"You three," McGonagall pointed to Sirius, Remus and Peter. Her voice was dangerous, her face pulled into a deep frown. "Up to the headmaster. _Now_."

They didn't waste any time, and the last thing they saw before heading into the castle and towards the headmaster's office was McGonagall conjuring up a stretcher for Narcissa who seemed to be unable to wake up, and Flitwick unbinding James who seemed to have calmed down.

Lily stood in the doorway, watching them walk up the stairs, but when Sirius tried to catch her eyes, she turned her gaze quickly to the floor, crossing her arms over her chest. A curtain of red hair hid her face.

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Detention. Every night for a month was what they looked forward to. They still weren't quite sure about James' fate, as he had yet to come out of the Headmaster's office, but knew it would probably be worse than there's. Narcissa was still unconcious in the hospital wing, and had seemed to suffer from internal bleeding.

They'd been told she could have died.

Remus had gotten off a bit lighter than the others, due to the fact the full moon was fast approuching. Dumbledore did not expect him to sit a detention far past midnight when he would surely be ill because of his coming transformation. He did, however, press upon them the seriousness of this situation, and pointed out that Remus would have to go through the night alone because of their actions.

They were all feeling horribly guilty, and had a hard time meeting Moony's eyes after that.

Lily watched them all from the other side of the room. Watched as they hunched around the fire, not saying a word. She wasn't about to talk to them either.

They no doubt thought this was all her fault, and she still couldn't shake the memory of the look James had given her as Flitwick marched him towards Dumbledore's office.

She was afraid to face him.

But what else was she suppose to do. She was worried, and obviously for good reason. If she hadn't gotten the professors to come down to the court yard, James could have killed one of the Slytherins and been expelled from Hogwarts. In turn, he'd be vunerable to the Death Eaters, and useless to the cause. She knew he wouldnt' want that.

Not after what they did to his parents.

Exacting revenge at school wasn't the clever way of going about this.

And where James might be furious with her, she was angry with him all the same, and she was going to let him know so.

At around 7:30, James finally entered the common room and stopped in front of the other Marauders, well Lily refused to make her presence known yet. He hadn't yet seen her, huddled into the chair in the corner near the chess board.

He planted his hands on his hips and frowned. "I've got two months worth of detention." She was angry to hear his tone was more angry than regretful, and watched as Remus shifted uncomfortably. Sirius was scowling, but ever the loyal friend, did not say anything.

No doubt they were all thinking the same thing. The fight had been pointless, no matter how much they felt the Slytherins had deserved it.

"At least they know better than to run off their mouths now."

She shot up out of her seat, momentarily startling James who turned at the sudden movement. They were all looking at her; watching as she balled her hands into fists and hot tears spilled down her cheeks from her anger.

_She _watched as his face suddenly clouded with an anger that directly imiated hers.

"Is that all you think about?" She hissed her words, and she felt herself trembling. _"Revenge?"_

"You just want me to sit back, twiddling my thumbs, do you?"

"Yes!" She threw up her hands and marched towards him, stopping just short of his arm length. "You think you've won, do you? Think that it's just going to stop now because of some petty brawl at school?"

He opened his mouth for an angry retort, his hazel eyes flashing but she was already going on. "You haven't changed at all than!"

Before he could say anything, she was hurtling up the stairs to her dorm room where she threw herself onto the bed and cried out her frustrations.

She felt she'd lost him, which was horrible, seeing as she felt she just found him.


End file.
